Oh, sister 34. (Memoirs of Sally McGhee vii)

I suppose I should have been happy with married life

Especially after becomin’ Lord Montgomery’s wife

I was determined to make it work

And even embrace his little quirk

But there was a lot more to Hugh than a fixation with a shoe

The first thing that became apparent to me

Was that lonely was only what he pretended to be

At night I’d wake up and he wouldn’t be in the room

And when he returned he’d be reekin’ of sweet perfume

There was also somethin’ lurkin’ behind his placid demeanour   

Somethin’ dark and meaner

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it at first

But feared the worst

I wasn’t quite sure what to do

There was definitely another side to Hugh

I was hesitant to ask

But I had to know what was behind the mask

I tried to extract what I could from my maid

Nothin’ direct as I knew she’d be afraid

Somethin’ that might explain these peculiarities

Or at least somethin’ that would put my mind at ease

But there was nothin’ that she could tell me that I didn’t already know

And my curiosity continued to grow

So much so that I was goin’ off my head

And the next time I awoke in an empty bed

I decided to explore

And went through the house floor by floor

Listenin’ by every door

I was about to give up and go back to sleep

When the sound of voices made my heart leap

Not from far

A little up the hallway a door was ajar

I decided to take a peek

Hopin’ that none o’ the floorboards would creak

I was really scared

And really not prepared

To see my husband in a wig and a frock

With his lips around the butler’s …

I nearly squealed with shock

I was mesmerised

More so when Hugh was bein’ sodomised

I half expected him to put up a fight

But the man that I married screamed with delight

And the smell of perfume

That sickly sweetness was present in the room

It was Hugh that wore

I originally thought that it might have come from a whore

I watched until I could watch no more

And slowly crept away from the door

I’d been had

The marriage was a façade

A front for the high society

In case of the eventuality

That someone may discover his true sexuality

But how could I fault him for his dishonesty

When my own goal was one o’ duplicity

And deception is usually incurred by the one that deceives

But he could’ve done better than our butler Jeeves