Sunday, 28 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 90) by Grant Harbison

“A word of warning,” said Countess White to Maude and Paine the following morning. “Drac is a virile boy, and when it comes to the ladies, he’s certainly not coy. He’ll definitely turn on the charm, but I can assure you that he’ll do you no harm. If he continues to persist, be polite but firmly resist. Your insistence will keep him at a distance.”
“Thank you for the advice,” said Paine. “We shall remain stoic if he tries to entice.”
Suddenly there was banging on the front door
“Countess White!” hollered Clyde from the hallway. “Shall I open for that insufferable bore?”
“Yes, Clyde. After that you have my permission to hide.”
Clyde was knocked to the floor as soon as he opened the door
And yelled as his attacker continued to attack
“Uncle Sweet!” the assailant yelled. “Drac’s back!”
“I know it’s you!” yelled the countess. “And leave Clyde alone, he’s a century older than you!”
“Where are you?”
“I’m in the dining room, come on through!”
Maude and Paine stared with mouths agape 
At the debonair man with the red and black cape
He gave them a brief glance and turned to the countess
“Uncle Sweet, why are you wearing a dress?”
“Transylvanian fashion is my latest passion.”
“It’s inane,” he remarked and once again eyed Maude and Paine. “I say, are these two prey?”
“No, they are friends who have come to stay. So be on your best behaviour. I forbid you to play.”
“Aw, can’t I just have one? It’s been ages since I’ve had a little fun.”
“Drac, stop your whining this instance!” These two ladies are in need of your assistance.”
“Yes, they are under a spell. Whoever cast it did very well.”
“Are you saying that you may not be able to break?”
“No, Uncle Sweet. I just don’t know how long it will take.”
“You can start after we’ve all had something to eat. You can pour the wine, I’ll cook the meat.”   

Friday, 26 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 89) by Grant Harbison

Countess White listened keenly to Maude and Paine
As they spoke about Claude and Blaine
About their own lives and their profession  
And how one little carnal session
Led to their newfound love and obsession
“So, that’s how we ended up coming this way,” said Maude when they’d finished what they had to say.
“That’s quite a story,” remarked the countess. “But it seems to me that not all is hunky dory.”
“And why would that be?” asked Maude. “All seems fine to me.”
“Yes, Countess,” said Paine. “Would you care to explain?”
“The love you have for one another. To me it seems like it was created by some other. You may think that this is how you feel, but I’m almost positive that the feeling isn’t real. When you spoke of your love it sounded prepared and there was a tremor in your voices as if you were scared.”
“Well, I can assure you that all is well,” said Maude agitatedly. “When Paine and I made love, it was in love that I fell.”
“And love for Maude is what I feel!” cried Paine anxiously. “How can you say that it isn’t real?”
“Listen to your voices, hear that quiver!” exclaimed White. “Look at yourselves, look how you shiver! These are indications that all is not well. My darlings, it seems to me like you’re both under a spell.’
“Sweet Lilly White, it can’t be right!” yelled Maude. “You should be contrite!”
“If it’s to keep us together, then I don’t care,” said Paine. “For what we have is really quite rare.’
“Spells can last a long time, but never for ever,” said White. “And the pain will be greater if soon you don’t sever.”
“We will never sever!” cried Maude. “We are together forever. I’ll do anything to save our romance. Even if it is a spell, I’ll take that chance.”
“Do you really want to live your life being controlled, knowing that someone else has that hold?”
“Sweet Lilly White, how do we solve our plight?” asked Paine. “I have no knowledge of spells or how to break. Is there a way it can be done without causing heartache?”
“It can be broken, that I can guarantee. But as for your relationship, we will have to wait and see. If I can get help, will you both agree?”
Paine nodded her head with a feeling of dread
Confronted with a decision that she may rue
Maude reluctantly nodded hers too
“Good,” said Countess White. “Tomorrow my nephew will be back. For situations like these he has a knack. I’m sure you will like Viscount Drac.”

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 88) by Grant Harbison

Blaine had a feeling of distress as he was about to mount Bess
“Blaine, what’s the delay?” asked the horse. “It’s time we were oan oor way.”
“Some thoughts are troublin’ me, my lovely mare.”
“Jist get oan, ah dinnae care!”
Borium and Truman stood at the horse’s side
Waiting patiently for Blain to ride
For a moment they sensed that something was wrong
But when the horse got going they broke into song
“No woe, no woe. It’s off to the stake we go. An innocent man we slayed one day and for that crime we have to pay. No woe, no woe, no woe, no woe!”
“Och, they sound so happy,” stated Bess. “Noo, cheer up, Blaine. There’s a good chappie.”
“I sometimes feel sad when I think of Paine,” said Blaine.
“It’ll no be long until ye see her again, an’ she’ll throw her arms aroon’ her bonnie swain.”
“But what if she’s dead?”
“Blaine, remove that silly thought fae yer head. These two are the ones that’ll soon be dead. An’ as soon as that happens, she’ll be free tae wed.”
“Thanks, Bess. I feel much better.”
“Ah’ll be wi’ ye until ye finally get her.”
Her words gave Blaine some piece of mind
And he was lost in thought until the weather became unkind
That’s when Borium and Truman pitifully whined
Blaine turned to see that they were lagging behind
“Bess, it’s seems like those two have lost their zest. I think it’s time we took a rest. I hope ye don’t mind?”
“Actually, ah do. So ye better speak tae the other two. If they’re as lackadaisical tomorrow, there’ll be tears an’ sorrow. We’ll find a sheltered place tae spend the night, but be prepared tae leave at the first sign o’ light.”
Bess began to trot
And it wasn’t long before they found a suitable spot
When the other two arrived at the place
They were struggling for breath and red in the face
“At last!” cried Borium. “A place to rest!”
“Ye took yer time!” Blaine scolded them. “Bess is not impressed.”
“You try walking at such a pace,” complained Truman. “This is a journey, not a race.”
“Och, stop yer whingin’,” said Bess. “The sooner we get tae oor destination, the sooner ye’ll be singein’.”
“Borium and I can’t wait to be set alight, but something tells us that these thoughts are not right.”
“These thoughts ye must spurn. Ye’ll both feel better when it’s yer turn tae burn. Noo, have somethin’ tae eat an’ have a good rest. Tomorrow will be an even tougher test.”
“Thank you, Bess. Tomorrow Borium and I will do our best.”  

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 87) by Grant Harbison

Deplorium’s capture caused Ilirium to cry out in jubilation
Jess and Beryl shared his exultation
But Shear remained apprehensive
“Shear, my dear,” said Jess. “You be lookin’ very pensive.”
“Let’s drink to celebrate and have some fun!” cried Ilirium. “Come on, Shear. We have won!”
“Aye, there’s nothin’ noo tae fear, Shear,” said Beryl. “Come an’ join the cheer. Jist don’t drink too much brew. Ye’re no carryin’ one child, ye’re carryin’ two. Ah bet ye thought that we never knew.”
“I’d guessed that my condition wouldn’t have escaped you,” said Shear. “But let’s leave that aside, we still have much to do. So I would suggest that no one partake in the brew.”
“What other problem could there possible be?” moaned Ilirium. “We have complete control over the other three.”
“Ilirium, we could have a situation that is equally dire.”
Jess eyed Shear with fear. “The vampire?”
Shear nodded her head. “I’m not acquainted with the powers of the undead.”
“Shear, ah cannae see how any problems can accrue,” said Beryl. “The women are under a spell an’ they havnae got a clue.”
“I may be wrong or I may be right, but something worries me about that transvestite. Vampires are creatures of the night and ones I know not how to fight. All I know is that they have the ability to take flight, and when they knock on someone’s door in the middle of the night, they’re compelled to open up and possessed with a bite. The women may be under a spell and may have nothing to tell, but if the vampire is perceptive, then it shouldn’t be too difficult to see that all is not well.”
“Some cloves o’ garlic might dae the trick,” said Beryl. “Ah bought some fae a Gaul the last time ah wis in Wick.”
“Beryl, the creatures be livin’ death,” said Jess. “I doubt if they’d be worried about a little bad breath.”
“Aye, but it’s the blood that it purifies. One wee bite an’ the vampire dies.”
“That sounds to me like an old wife’s tale,” remarked Shear. “It’d be worth a try, but a cert to fail.”
“At the moment we have no cause to worry,” said Ilirium. “Don’t you think we should get the others going in a hurry?”
“Yes,” replied Shear. “Beryl, it’s time to be Bess. I shall lie down and wait for a vision, or a voice to help me make the right decision.” 

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 86) by Grant Harbison

In a dining room that had very little light
Maude and Paine waited for Sweet Lilly White
“Good morning, ladies,” she greeted when she arrived. “I trust that you both slept well last night.”
“Yes, thank you, Countess,” replied Paine. “A decent sleep was needed and the bed was just right. There’s something I have to ask, Countess White. Are you a transvestite?”
Maude was horrified at Paine’s audaciousness and expected Sweet’s wrath
But the countess merely began to laugh
Paine smiled at the Countess’ delight. “I’m sorry if that sounded impolite.”
“No, it’s good to be forthright. You are right, I am a transvestite. Clyde said that it’s just a stage, but in lovely Transylvania it’s all the rage.”
“Beautiful nevertheless,” said Maude. “You look simply stunning in that dress. Like a natural woman.”
“That’s quite a compliment considering that I’m not even human.”
“But you are in human in feature,” said Paine unsteadily. “If not human, then what kind of creature?”
“One who can never expire. You may think that I’m a liar, but I can assure you that I’m pure Transylvanian vampire.”
Maude and Paine began to shake
“But it’s daylight,” said Paine cautiously. “Vampires are not supposed to be awake.”
“Folklore can be such a bore,” said Sweet and yawned. “Our kind was here long before humans were spawned. We are not what you think. Blood is something we very rarely drink.”
Maude and Paine gaped wide eyed
“What’s wrong, dears?” asked Sweet. “You both look terrified.’
“Don’t hurt us!” they cried in unison. “Please!”
“Hush now, be at ease. The blood drinking remark was just to tease. Contrary to beliefs, we are not beasts who indulge in human feasts.”
“But it’s a widespread belief that vampires have very large teeth,” said Maude. ‘And when humans have been bled, they roam the world soulless and undead.”
“That’s not quite right, but we do sometimes enjoy a little bite.”
“So, there is some actuality?”
“One has to be bitten to receive immortality.”
 “That can be done?”
“Yes, honey bun. If that’s what you seek, I am the one.”
Paine and Maude were overawed
“But enough about vampires, let me hear about you. What are your names and where are you heading to?”  

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 85) by Grant Harbison

Deplorium stood before the tunnel that led to the manor house
He took a few deep breaths and wiped the sweat from his brows
“It’s freezin’ cold yet ah perspire,” he said to Blaine. “Anxiety is makin’ me feel like ah’m on fire.”
“That’s to be expected,” said Blaine. “But don’t let nerves be the cause o’ ye bein’ detected.”
“Aye, right enough. Well, It’s time for me tae dae ma stuff.”
“Indeed. Go get yer fortune and Godspeed.”
“Thanks, Blaine. Wi’ a wee bit o’ luck it’ll no be long ‘til ah’m back again.”
“Aye, o’ that I’m sure. Pretty soon ye’ll no longer be poor.”
“Ye’re a really good soul. Ah’ll be needin’ yer help tae get the treasure oot o’ the hole.”
“I’ll be waitin’ and anticipatin’.”
As soon as Deplorium went underground
Blaine had a quick look around
His eyes caught sight of a very large boulder
And it took all his strength to lift it onto his shoulder
He dropped it into the entrance of the miniscule pit
Uncannily the rock was the perfect fit
He smiled in satisfaction as he knew without a doubt
There’d be no chance of Deplorium getting back out
Deplorium crawled through the tunnel until he reached the cellar’s trapdoor
But when he pushed it open there was a mighty uproar
When he saw that it was Laird MacBlach’s men
He scrambled back through the tunnel again
Fear turned to alarming shock
When he saw that the entrance was blocked by a rock
“Blaine, why did ye betray?” he cried in bitter dismay.
From the other end of the tunnel he heard MacBlach’s voice
And realised that all he had now was the Devil’s choice  

Saturday, 13 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 84) by Grant Harbison

“What dae ye want, ya wee Sassenachs?” asked one of the guards when Borium and Truman arrived at Lord MacBlach’s.
“My dear man, please refrain from drawing your sword,” responded Borium. “We have an urgent matter to discuss with the lord.”
“What makes ye think that he wants tae see you? Tell me what it’s aboot an’ ah might let ye through.”
“I’m afraid that it’s something I cannot discuss. It’s a private matter between the lord and us.”
“Yer reason better be good. The laird is in a rotten mood.”
“I wouldn’t fear,” said Truman. “What we have to say he’ll definitely want to hear.”
“Aye, we’ll see. Wait here the noo an’ ah’ll see if he’s free.”
It didn’t take long for the guard to reappear
“Whatever ye have tae, he’s prepared tae hear,” he told them. “Don’t speak until he speaks tae you. Is that clear?”
Borium and Truman nodded in understanding
“Good, first door tae the left at the top o’ the landin’.”
They walked up the stairs and knocked on the door
“Come in!” they heard Laird MacBlach roar.
Both immediately entered and knelt on the floor
MacBlach eyed them with disdain. “Ah never thought ah’d be seein’ you two again.”
Borium immediately tried to regain the words from Blaine
“Well, what dae ye want tae say?” MacBlach asked them. “Speak, ah havnae got aw bloody day!”
“Sir, we’re here about the unfortunate death of Hamish MacCann,” replied Borium. “We are here to inform you that you killed the wrong man.”
“So, it wis Deplorium that robbed me. Am ah right?”
“Yes, sir,” replied Truman. “And he’s planning to do it again this very night.”
“That crafty wee...”
“Yes, sir. He’s vile and corrupted,” Borium interrupted.
“Or maybe this is some kind o’ trick,” said MacBlach as he raised his sword. “Tell me the truth or ah’ll cut off yer…”
“It’s the truth!” cried Borium before he became physically sick.
“Good, noo tell me his plan. It’s time ah got rid o’ that despicable man.”    

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 83) by Grant Harbison

Maude heard the horse whinny in the middle of the night
Not his usual nicker
But one of extreme fright
Wrapped in a blanket and with Paine holding tight
She went back to sleep and ignored his plight
She awoke in the early morn with a start
 “Paine!” she yelled and placed her hands on her heart. “Someone has taken the horse. All we are left with is the cart!”
“But how can that be?” responded Paine. “I never heard a thing, nor did I see.”
“I heard the horse neigh like it was distressed, but I fell asleep again as I needed the rest.”
“It looks like we’ll have to go further on foot,” sighed Paine. “I just hope we can find an easier route.”
They grabbed their belongings and started on their way
And strode with perseverance for most of the day
Not long after day became night
They stumbled upon a peculiar sight
In front of them stood a mansion made of stone
With a knocker on the front door that looked like human bone
“Paine, I don’t like what I see,” said Maude. “I think it would be best if we turn and flee.”
“I agree that it does look rather creepy, but I need somewhere to lay my head. I’m terrible sleepy.”
Before they could utter anything more
They heard a creak and stared at the open door
Both staggered backwards and screamed with fright
When they came face to face with a man eight feet in height
“What do you want at this time of night?” he snarled. “This is the property of Countess Sweet Lilly White.”
“Who is it, Clyde?” someone with a high pitched voice yelled from inside. “Do we have guests?”
“No, Countess,” replied the man at the door. “It’s just a couple of pests.”
“Clyde, don’t be such a bore. Give me a moment and I’ll come to the door.”
Maude and Paine gasped when they eyed the flamboyant creature
Who wore a glitzy blue dress fit for a princess but had a face slightly manly in feature
“Good evening, Countess,” greeted Paine. “I must say that I simply love your dress.”
“Yes, just one of the many I wear to impress. It’s all the mania in Transylvania. Come inside, it’s cold outside. Some food and some beds will be arranged by Clyde.”
“There’s something a little odd about Countess White,” said Paine as she and Maude lay in bed that night.
“Yes,” Maude concurred. “Methinks that Sweet Lilly White is a sweet transvestite.”    

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 82) by Grant Harbison

Blaine looked for Deplorium the following morn
And found him outside looking forlorn
“Deplorium, ye look a sight. I take it that ye had a restless night?”
“Aye, ah’m completely worn. Ah tried tae come tae a decision, but ma mind is torn.”
“Deplorium, ye’ll continue to despair if ye do not dare.”
“Blaine, ye’re jist tryin’ tae coax me because you want a share.”
“No, that wouldn’t be fair.”
“Then why do ye care?”
For a second Blaine felt a crushing remorse
But it was immediately replaced by the words of the horse
“Blaine, did ye hear?”
“I heard yer voice, but the words weren’t clear.”
“Yer mind jist seemed tae disappear.”
“I’ll be fine. Don’t you fear.”
“Any decision ah make may be one that ah’ll rue. Ah wis askin’ what would be in it for you?”
“Don’t ye be concerned about me. Do what ye have to do and ye could be rich and free.”
“Ye’ve made up ma mind an’ ah’m goin’ tonight. Ah may need some assistance. Would that be awright?”
“Aye, but for now ye’ll need tae get some rest. For a task such as this ye’ll need to be at yer best.”
As soon as he got rid of Deplorium
Blaine went in search of Truman and Borium
When he found them still sleeping in their beds
He fetched a bucket of water and poured it on their heads
Blaine laughed loud at their cries of alarm. “It’s only water. It can’t do any harm.”
“Blaine, that wasn’t nice!” yelled Truman. “That water is as cold as ice!”
“There was no need for that!” cried Borium. “What do you think you’re playing at!”
“Now that ye’re both awake, I have somethin’ to say. Remember when ye heard the horse neigh?”
“Yes,” replied Borium. “And an instruction that you, and only you, we must obey.”
“To adhere to your command,” said Truman. “What do you demand?”
“I demand that you go to the house o’ the laird and tell him that he must be prepared. Deplorium has planned to rob him tonight and he’ll need his guards in case he puts up a fight. Tell him that he‘s executed an innocent man, as the previous robbery was Deplorium and not Hamish MacCann. That is my command. Do ye understand?”
“Message received loud and clear. ” replied Borium. “We shall leave at once without delay and what you have told us we will convey.”  

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 81) by Grant Harbison

Blaine was up at the crack of dawn
And scrubbed himself thoroughly before putting a new robe on
With a feeling of devil may care
He stepped outside into brisk morning air
And made his way to the stable to see the mare
“Top o’ the mornin’ to ye, Bess?” he greeted when he arrived at the stable. “It’s a nice mornin’ for a stroll if ye’re willin’ and able.”
“Away you an’ scoot!” moaned Bess. “It’s too bloody early an’ the sun isnae oot!”
“Oh, don’t be in such a grumpy mood. Come on, it’ll do ye good.”
“Monk, are you oot o’ yer mind. Mention a walk again an’ ah’ll kick yer behind.”
Blaine looked at Bess with dismay. “I thought it would be a great way to start the day.”
“Blaine, is your hearin’ impaired? I sincerely hope not, because ah’ve got somethin’ oan ma mind that needs tae be shared. It concerns you, the other three an’ the laird.”
“Sweet Bess, cast away yer fears. Whatever ye wish to tell me, I’m all ears.”
Blaine listened carefully as she began to explain
For a moment it felt like something was piercing his brain
But the feeling quickly passed and he listened once again
“Right, it’s time ye were oan yer way,” said Bess when she’d finished what she had to say.
“I shall see to yer demand  without delay.”
“That’s a good boy. Noo go away!”
Back at the monastery he met with Deplorium
Truman was still asleep
As was Borium
“Deplorium, rumour has it that ye’re a bit o’ a cad.”
“That may be so, Blaine, but ah’m no aw bad.”
“What would ye say if I told ye there’s treasure to be had?”
“Ah would say that ah’d want tae hear more. Talk of treasure ah find hard tae ignore.”
“I heard a wench talk o’ riches untold. But if one were to secure, then one would have to be bold.”
Deplorium gave him a dubious stare. “Where?”
“Where the laird o’ the manor sleeps there’s a secret door. Inside that room there are riches galore.”
“If that wis true, why would she tell you?”
“It was to another that she relayed. I just happened to hear what she said.”
“Not a word tae anyone, Blaine. Ah’ll ponder this tonight in bed.”

Friday, 5 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 80) by Grant Harbison

“Now we are getting somewhere!” cried Shear with delight. “Firstly the women and now this pathetic pair.”
“Ah jist love daein’ the voice o’ the horse,” chuckled Beryl. “It’s so deliciously wicked, yet wi’ nae cause for remorse. Aye, so much fun. Sheer, have ye thought aboot what ye’re gonnae dae wi’ the sleekit one?”
“I presume that means sly.”
“Yes, the other one is far too sly. So trying to lure him with the horse’s eye wouldn’t even be worth a try.”
“Perhaps some honey,” suggested Jess. “From what I been seein’, he be sweet on money.”
“Yes. Wonderful idea, Jess,” said Ilirium. “A deceptive treasure trail could be given to Blaine by Bess.”
“Aye, that sounds good tae me tae,” said Beryl. “Shear, what dae ye say?”
“It’s something to contemplate. But it totally relies upon him taking the bait.”
“Blaine might be a foolish wretch, but back at the monastery I saw him do a fair sketch,” said Ilirium. “If we could get him to draw a treasure map, then Blaine could lead him to a trap. One where he won’t be able to break free, allowing better control of the other three.”
“The problem be where to trap him in that wilderness,” said Jess.
“There is something else I could have prepared,” proposed Shear. “But this would require that he not be scared of going once again to the house of the laird. If Blaine can convince him there are riches to be found, it’ll only be a matter of time before he goes back under the ground.”
“A tricky situation,” said Beryl. “He’d want tae ken where Blaine got the information.”
“What if he said that on his journey he overheard it being relayed?” suggested Ilirium. “Perhaps from a former worker. Maybe a scullery maid?”
 “I’m not so sure,” replied Shear. “The explanation of the acquired information seems rather poor and maybe not enough to lure. We are dealing with someone who is cunning and wise. Someone who trusts no one but himself may see through the lies.”
Ilirium let out a sigh. “We’ll never know if we never try.”
Shear looked at their hopeful stares.
“Fine,” she said after a few moments. “Nothing can be gained if no one dares.”
“Great!” cried Ilirium. “I can’t wait.”
“But all three will have to listen carefully to me. Especially you, Beryl. One little mistake could cause great peril. Fortunately Blaine is too large to go down the tunnel that leads to the house of the laird. Due to what happened the last time, it would be understandable that the other two will be scared. Once he’s gone underground, Blaine will look for anything that can be found, and seal the hole to prevent an escape by the sly little troll. The other two shall go to the laird and reveal that once again he is planning to steal. Their testimony that he was the one responsible before shall cause a huge uproar; and when he goes up through the cellar door, greedily anticipating, the laird and his men shall be waiting.”
“A wonderful plan, my dear,” said Jess. “With you on our side we shall never fear.” 

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 79) by Grant Harbison

“One cannot share love, nor can one borrow,” said Claude to Maude with a heart filled with sorrow. “Be happy with your new love. I shall depart tomorrow.”
“Claude, it doesn’t have to be this way.”
“I’ve said all I want to say.”
“It doesn’t mean that you have to go away. You can still journey with Paine and I. Please stay.”
“If it was a man, he’d have been immediately slain. But Paine? Perhaps I was blind, for never would I have thought that you would betray me with the female kind. Nay, I cannot stay.”
Maude began to weep. “You are still a friend I’d like to keep.”
“Nay, I’m afraid that my love runs too deep. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I really need to get some sleep.”
“I take it that he’s not impressed,” said Paine to Maude when Claude went to rest.
“Oh, Paine, I seem to have sparked great disdain. He is leaving in the morn and I may never see him again.”
“He caught you having sex with a woman. I’d say that his feelings are only human.”
“I know. It’s just going to be so hard letting go.”
“Maude, come hither and let me embrace. Let me hold you tight and kiss your tear stained face.”
Maude went to the arms of Paine and her tears fell like rain
And with bittersweet passion they made love again
They awoke the following morn to a bird’s sweet song
Maude beamed brightly as Paine whistled along
The clouds had disappeared and the winter sun shone
But their joy instantly faded when they saw that Claude had gone
Maude let out a sigh. “I thought at least he would’ve said goodbye. Now that we have a different situation, is there any no point in heading to our planned destination?”
“I must give Blaine an explanation.”
“But what if you find there’s still a flame?”
“There won’t. Now that I have you I’ll never be the same.”

Monday, 1 February 2016

Oh, brother (part 78) by Grant Harbison

“This is madness, Borium. We both know that the man is unstable,” whispered Truman as they followed Blaine to the stable.
“Truman, do you really think I’d risk my life? As a precautionary measure I’ve brought a knife.”
“Stop yer chatterin’ and get a move on, you pair. Ye’ll be amazed when ye hear this articulate mare.”
“If you would just slow your pace, Brother Blaine!” moaned Borium. “This is not a race! Truman, don’t you worry, I’ll watch your back. I have the knife ready in case of attack.”
“Okay Blaine, time to let us in on the joke,” said Truman when they arrived at the stable and saw him giving the horse a stroke.
“I swear it’s true. Just give me a chance and I’ll prove it to you.”
“Not that we really care,” said Borium. “Do what you have to do and let’s hear the mare.”
“Bess, say hello to Borium and Truman. Let them hear you talk like a human.”
Bess said nothing and simply stared
“What’s wrong, Blaine?” asked Borium. “Don’t tell me that she is scared.”
“I said it was a joke,” said Truman. “Blaine, next time you’ll have to be better prepared.”
“Perhaps if she had wings and a beak,” chuckled Borium. “Maybe then she’d be able to speak.”
“Monk, you’re gettin’ oan ma wick,” said Bess. If ye don’t stop yer cheek ah’ll knock ye down wi’ a hefty kick.”
“Do ye believe me now?” Blaine interjected. “I told ye it wasn’t a trick.”
Borium and Truman trembled with fear
“Keep her away!” yelled Borium. “Don’t let her near.”
“Don’t be afraid,” said Blaine. “She’s really a dear.”
“Aye, as long as ye show me respect,” said Bess. “Dae ye hear?”
“Yes,” replied Borium. “Loud and clear.”
“Good. Ah dinnae like it when people are rude. Noo come here, the pair o’ ye an’ apologise.”
The two of them walked over and stared at her eyes
“Ah’ll say this once and never again,” she said. “Fae now on ye only listen tae  Blaine. Dae ye understand?”
“Yes,” replied Borium. “He is in command.”
“Yes, replied Truman. “Whatever he asks of me, I shall obey.”
“That’s what ah want tae hear ye say. Now, go back tae Blaine an’ go away. It’s time for me tae feast oan hay.”