Oh, brother (part 14) by Grant Harbison

They were led to a dungeon and their nerves began to jangle

When they saw the chains on the wall

Each with a bangle

They were ordered to strip and locked in their restraints

Borium felt the discomfort and cried, “Suffering saints!”

“Methinks, dear Brother,” said Truman “That it’s much too late for complaints.”

Mistress Paine grinned and cracked her whip

Borium whimpered and Truman bit his lip

“I am the punisher and the dissolute I scorn,” she said. “And when I’m finished with you, you’ll wish you’d never been born. Yes, little monks, you have reason to shake. Are there any special requests before we partake?”

Borium’s wrists began to ache. “I’m afraid, Mistress Paine, there’s been a mistake.”

“No mistake, none at all. You’re mine now and I’m going to have a ball. Just one thing before we begin; I can assure you that no one will hear the din.”

“You don’t understand, we’ve paid our fee,” said Truman. “Surely we can decide if we want to be free.”

“That may work with some, but not with me.”

“Please!” yelled Borium. ”Let us go!”

“You’re very annoying and the answer is no!”

She gave them a few whacks with the cat o’ nine tails

And yelled with delight at the sound of their wails

Their ordeal lasted another half an hour

Long enough to make them babble and cower

“Oh, come on,” said Mistress Paine. “It wasn’t so drastic. Or perhaps you think I’m being sarcastic. It may take a little while for the pain to wane, but when you feel up to it, please call again.”

 Ilirium was in hysterics when they eventually arrived home

And told them it was retribution for staying so long in Rome

Borium and Truman were not amused

For a little indiscretion they were roughly abused

And they agreed that when their butts weren’t so sore

 Ilirium shall have a surprise in store