Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 62) by Grant Harbison


Blaine was on his way once again
And the throb in his head was driving him insane
“Oh Lord, see me through,” he mumbled to himself. “And never more will I partake in the Devil’s brew. Please lead me to river and I promise to refrain forever. I don’t know what is worst, the hammer in my head or my incredible thirst.”
For miles he trundled and began to run out of steam  
With no river in sight or even a stream
But just as the day dawned
He stumbled upon a large pond
Removing his robe first
He then ran to the water to slake his thirst
His thirst was extreme
But he was immediately interrupted by a woman’s scream
He turned and saw that she was as naked as he
“Maiden, please hush!” cried Blaine and felt himself blush. “It’s not what ye think. I just came for a wash and a drink!”
“Then avert yer eyes, for already yer man thing is startin’ tae rise.”
Blaine closed his eyes. “Young maiden, I do apologise.”
“Then stay where ye are until ah get dressed, an’ ah might believe that ye’re not a peepin’ pest.”
“Yer fine figure would make any man weak, but I sincerely promise not to peek.”
“Right, ye can open yer eyes,” she told him after a while. “Ye certainly gave me a surprise.”
“May I get dressed too?”
“Aye, please do!”
Blaine donned his robe and walked to where she sat on the grass. “My name is Blaine, and who might you be, lass?”
“Ma name is Allure, an’ ah’m sorry if ah thought that yer intentions were impure.”
“That’s okay, lass. Nowadays ye can never be sure.”
“So what are ye daein’ aw the way up here? Yer brogue is Irish fae what ah hear.”
“Aye, we do have different brogues. I’m on my way to grab a couple of rogues, so that I can save my love from execution. Bringin’ them to justice is the only solution.”
“Och, that’s so romantic.”
“Aye, but it hasn’t gone well so far and I’m gettin’ a wee bit frantic.”
“Then let me see what ah can dae. Love is precious an’ ye cannae let it slip away.”  

Oh, brother (part 61) by Grant Harbison


Borium, Truman and Deplorium went through the cavern
And scaled many rocks to reach Hamish’s tavern
“Deplorium, how are you?” cried Hamish when they came through.
“Jist had a narrow escape, Hamish. Ah could dae wi’ a brew.”
“Aye, comin’ up. Who are the other two?”
“Truman an’ ma cousin Borium,” replied Deplorium.
“Ah suppose they’ll be wantin’ ales tae.”
“Please, sir,” said Borium. “If we may?”
“It sounds like he comes fae far away,” Hamish said to Deplorium. “A Sassenach, ah’d say.”
His discourteous tone caused Borium and Truman fright
“Aye, that they are,” responded Deplorium. “But ah can assure ye that they’re baith awright.”
“Ah’ll take yer word as ye’re a trusted friend, but ye ken us an’ their lot dinnae blend.”
“Och, Hamish, we’re aw human. Wait till ye get tae ken Borium an’ Truman.”
“Friendship ah cannae see. Ah’d banish the lot o’ them if it were up tae me.”
Borium and turned pale
“Dinnae be daft, Hamish,” chuckled Deplorium. “Noo, wid ye bring us that ale?”
“Deplorium,” whispered Borium as he watched Hamish go. “What has he got against Anglo?”
“Dinnae ye worry, cousin, it’s jist his way. Hamish is a man that likes tae have his say.”
“Ah suppose the goods ye have are Laird MacBlach’s,” said Hamish when he returned with the ales. “Is that why ye needed the Sassenachs?”
“Aye,” replied Deplorium as he took a sip of his ale. “Wi these two wee lads ah knew ah widnae fail. But MacBlach an’ his men raided the strand before ah could make a sale.”
“Ah’ll take them aff ye, jist name yer price.”
“Twenty groats wid be nice.”
“Ah’ll gie ye ten plus free drinks for you and yer men.”
“Hamish, ye’ve always been a hard man tae beat. Make that free drink an’ somethin’ tae eat.” 

Sunday, 27 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 60) by Grant Harbison

       

“Gaul, from these chains I demand release,” said Erik to Meric. “Do that and won’t rip you apart piece by piece.”
“Viking, I have the key and I wouldn’t talk like to me. If you are going to be rude, I might have to cut off your manhood.”
Erik looked at his crazed eyes. “Okay, I apologise.”
Meric laughed loud. “For I was planning to save that till last.”
Erik stared at him aghast
“Yes, Viking filth, you are going to die. And do you want to know why?”
“No, your hatred I don’t get. As far as I know we have never met.”
“You may not remember, but I remember you. Oh, the pain and humiliation you put me through.”
“What exactly have I done?”
“You and the others thought it was fun.”
“Gaul, will you please explain. These shackles are very tight and I’m in terrible pain.”
“My pain was insane and since then I haven’t been with a woman again. Oh, so loud I protested, but I was ignored by you and the others as you brutally molested.”
“In the name of Thor!” cried Erik. “Things like this happen in war.”
“And I’ve never been at peace. I’ll start off slowly and then the pain will increase.”
“Let me try to make amends, my friend.”
“You didn’t offer friendship when you forced me to bend.”
“Things were crazy, not all my fault!”
“That’s no excuse for my brutal assault.”
“Please, let’s have some accord. If you let me go, I won’t use my sword.”
Meric began to giggle. “Oh Viking filth, see how you wiggle. No more time for chit chat, I have to make a start. But where to begin, which part?” 

Oh, brother (part 59) by Grant Harbison


The man who held the reins went by the name of Arthur Haynes
And his fervour for Paine’s expertise was far greater than Blaine’s
The frequent stops and his demands for more
Were for Maude and Claude such a bore
Even Paine began to see it as a chore
“I’m getting so tired of it,” Paine complained to Maude and Claude. “I’m surprised that he is still able to sit.”
“It’s like your whip has now become a feather,” said Maude. “Or he has become so accustomed, his rear is like leather.”
“Maybe next time I’ll take a turn,” said Claude. “I’ll make sure the pain will burn.”
“Hey, I be hearing what you are saying,” said Arthur. “Only the mistress be doing the flaying.”
“Sir, she tires and has little zest,” said Claude. “And would you mind telling us why we are heading west?”
“We’ll go west and then the west Highland way. I’d rather avoid going near Glasgae.”
“Glasgae?” Paine queried. “Where is that and why do we have to turn away? Changing direction will cause further delay.”
“It’s a town renowned for blaggards and thieves. Some say that when one enters, one never leaves.”
“I’m sure there are,” said Maude. “But why do we have to veer so far?”
“Seeing that it will be for your wellbeing. You’re welcome to get off the cart if you don’t be agreeing.”
“Let’s just go with the man and not complain,” said Paine. “All I want to do is meet again with Blaine; my wonderful monk and gorgeous hunk.”
“Sounds like he’s been led astray,” Arthur mocked. “I’ve seen a few heading this way.”
His words brought hope to Paine. “Was one of them dark, handsome and tall?”
“Two I remember were very small.”
“Then that cannot be Blaine.”
“Then there was a larger one who’d been brutally slain.”

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 58) by Grant Harbison


Jess and Ilirium awoke and saw that Beryl was up and dressed
“Good mornin’, little one an’ Jess,” she greeted. “Ah hope the pair o’ ye had a good rest.”
“Yes, dear Beryl,” said Jess. “Be ye blessed. Ye mentioned last night that ye be expecting a guest. I see nothing in my ball, it’s really a pest.”
“Aw ah ken is human. It could be a man or could be a woman. A strange sight, but ah cannae tell the gender, try as ah might.”
“Like a hermaphrodite?” 
“Aye, ye could be right.”
“That must be Shear de Lite,” said Ilirium. “She must have found a way of escaping and taken flight.”
“Well, she’ll be here sometime this mornin’,” said Beryl. “It looks like she’s comin’ wi’ a message o’ warnin’.”
“I wonder what that might be,” said Jess. “It be amazing some of what she can see.”
“Perhaps it might be aboot why ye’ve came tae me.”
Jess clapped her hands with glee. “What great fortune this be. They won’t stand a chance against us three.”
“But if yer foe disnae ken if it’s a he or a she, then we have the power of four, no three,” stated Beryl. “Would ye agree?”
“Oh yes,” responded Jess. “Any counter attack could be such a mess.”
“I pray that she has inkling,” said Ilirium. “Our greatest weapon would be to know what potion they are drinking.”
“Well, ye wullnae have tae wait much more,” said Beryl. “Oor guest is jist aboot tae knock oan the door.”
A few seconds later they heard a rap
“Open the door, little one,” Jess told Ilirium. “Be a good chap.”
“Oh, Shear!” cried Jess as she came through the door. “I’ve been so very worried about ye, my dear!”
Shear ran to Jess and they hugged and kissed. “Jess, your presence I’ve sorely missed. I’ve come to warn you of great peril.”
“Relax, my dear, let me introduce ye to Beryl.”

Oh, brother (part 57) by Grant Harbison


Blaine lay on the floor of the inn in a crumpled heap
“My head is so sore I could almost weep!” he cried. “I wish I’d never eaten that neep!”
“It wisnae the neep, nor the rodent stew,” said the barman. “Ah’d say that the fifteen pails o’ brew is what did it tae you.”
“Hey, Irish, same again?” asked a man, and there was raucous laughter from the other men.  
“I’d better not, I’m northwards bound.”
“Aw, c’mon,” said the man. “Hair o’ the hound.”
“I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. I’m on a mission that will save my lass.”
“Ah’m Robert Murray,” said the man. “An’ naebody gets oot o’ here in a hurry.”
“Aye,” said another. “The only time ye’ll be northwards bound is when ye buy each an’ every one o’ us another round.”
“But I haven’t got many groats to spare.”
“Irish, we don’t care,” said Robert. “Go for that door, if ye dare.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Aye, an’ a good goin’ over is what ye’ll get if ye try tae leave the inn withoot payin’ yer debt.”
Blaine listened to his inner voice. “I don’t suppose I have a choice.”
“Good man,” said Robert. “That’ll be twenty pails o’ ale for me an’ the clan.”
Blaine reluctantly bought the beers
And the inn erupted with very loud cheers
They made him order over and over again
“Ah’ll tell ye when ye can stop,” said Robert. “Noo, same again.”
Three hours later their thirst was sated
And when Brother Blaine saw that they were all inebriated
He sneakily slipped out the door
And promised himself never to return once more 

Friday, 18 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 56) by Grant Harbison


“It shouldnae take too long for the boats tae land,” said Deplorium to Truman and Borium as he lit some fires on the strand. “Let me dae the negotiatin’, understand? Sometimes the right price is no easy tae command.”
“What happens if you don’t get the right price?” asked Borium. “A good few groats is all well and nice; but if my life is at stake, I care not to dice.”
“Yes, how can you guarantee that we won’t be harmed?” asked Truman. “We will definitely be outnumbered and we’re totally unarmed.”
“Ye’re a right pair o’ fearty cats,” sighed Deplorium. “It’s only wi’ each other that there’s sometimes spats. Most o’ the time they jist come for what they need, but ye do get those that are bent oan greed. I have ma regulars an’ the occasional scum, but ah only trade for a decent sum.”
“Get ready to earn some groats,” said Borium. “I think I’ve spotted a number of boats. Looks like eight, maybe nine.”
Deplorium looked to the sea. “Ah can only see three. Yer eyesight must be better than mine.”
“Perhaps we should kill the fires,” suggested Truman. “The light has been seen by your buyers.”
“We’ll have tae wait till they’re closer tae the beach,” responded Deplorium. “It’s an agreement we have an’ ah will not breach.”
Just as the boats arrived at the shore
They heard the sound of horses and a huge uproar
“It’s the laird an’ his men, we have tae leave now!” yelled Deplorium. “Pack whatever yer sacks will allow!”
“But there are too many men!” cried Borium. “We’ll never get away!’
“Jist listen tae me an’ ah’ll show ye the way!”
“Borium, just listen to Deplorium,” said Truman. “Let’s hear what he has to say.”
“A wee bit further up there’s a cavern. If we go through an’ up we’ll get tae Hamish’s tavern. Dinnae worry, we’ll aw be fine. Hamish is a good friend o’ mine. Noo hurry up, ya wee Sassenachs. Hell hath no fury like Laird MacBlach’s.”     

Oh, brother (part 55) by Grant Harbison


Erik rambled with absolute ease
Hiking was second nature to the Viking
And gale force winds were merely a breeze
Mile after mile he wore a smile
When he thought about Borium and that special day
When first they’d met and he’d carried him away
Every now and then he’d sing out loud
About the man he was and how much he was proud
“Good day,” he heard a man say as he reached the top of a brae. “At least someone is gay on this wet and wintry day.”
“My heart brims with sweet elation,” responded Erik. "For once again there will be reunification with the most beautiful creature in all creation.”
“Forgive me if I’ve misconstrued, as I would not want aggravation; but I gather that we might be of the same persuasion.”
“Your attire and manner seem somewhat effete; but the same desires, I would bet.”
“Yes, you are precise; and for a reasonable price, I could offer you some sugar and spice.”
“You have gall, impudent Gaul. I desire only one or none at all.”
“It is said of the Norse that many are hung like a horse. I expect that is true, judging by the size of you.”
Erik grabbed him by the throat
“Please don’t hurt me!” he cried. “It’s what I do to make a groat.”
Erik was suddenly consumed with shame
And not just because they were both the same
It was a way to make a living and he had no right to blame
Erik let him go and asked his name
“My name is Meric.”
“Pleased to meet you, I am Erik.”
“Erik, very soon day will become night, and I do not wish to make you uptight, but I can offer a place to sleep and some needed respite.”
“Okay, young Gaul. Show the way. I suppose I can wait another day.”
Erik awoke in the morning with a pain in his head
But his cause for alarm was being chained to a bed 

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 54) by Grant Harbison


Maude, Claude and Paine got off to the perfect start
When they met a man with a horse and cart
“Pardon me, sir, are you going our way?” asked Claude. “We are heading north and willing to pay.”
“That’ll depend on how much you’ve got,” replied the man. “I’m on my way to the land of the Scot.”
“Sir, that is where we are heading too. Would twenty groats do for you?”  
“I’d never take more than I need. Part for my kindness and the horse’s feed. But I do have inkling. One of the wenches, I be thinking.”
“Well, kind sir, we will be thanking,” said Mistress Paine. “I could offer you some mighty fine spanking.”
“Could you, indeed? It’s been many years since I’ve had that need.”
“No one does it better than me. The most pleasurable pain; you will see.”
“Well in that case, let’s start. I need some assurance before we depart.”
Miss Paine smiled and produced her whip. “Lift your robe, far above your hip. I’m in command, don’t give me lip. Now tell me when you are ready, say it to me.”
“Ready as I will ever be. Oh, sweet maiden, give it to me!”
Paine let rip and the man bucked and screamed
Paine sighed with pleasure and Claude and Maude beamed
“I be thinking that you are all on the run?” asked the man when all was done.
“Yes, just take us where we want,” replied Maude. “I will make certain that you continue to have fun.”
“I will most certainly do. I have a feeling that she was trained by you.”
“Beautiful and well equipped,” Maude responded. “Many returns from those she has whipped.”
“Much excitement and a perfect show. Hop on the cart, it’s time we should go.”
The slowness of the journey drove Paine insane
For all she could think of was Brother Blaine  

Saturday, 12 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 53) by Grant Harbison


Jess knocked on the door of Beryl’s abode
“I hope she’s home, little one,” she said to Ilirium. “It’s been an arduous road.”
“Come in, Jess. Don’t stand there waitin’,” cried Beryl from inside. “Yer presence ah’ve been long anticipatin’.”
Jess opened the door and they both went in
And were met by a woman who was alarmingly thin
“It be lovely to see you again,” said Jess as they both embraced. “I should’ve have guessed that my journey was one ye would’ve have traced.”
“Ma visions sometimes have their use. What a fine lookin’ young man ye have with ye. Would ye like tae introduce?”
“This here be Ilirium, my little one. He be in search of two rogues who are on the run.”
“Well, for a monk, he’s certainly no chaste. Ah have tae commend ye, Jess, ah like yer taste. It’s been a while since ah’ve had a man in ma bed. Perhaps tonight wi’ me he could lay his head.”
Ilirium looked at her with utter dread
“I don’t be minding if he goes to yer bunk. Ye won’t be disappointed, he’s full of spunk.”
“But first ah’d like tae have a look at the tackle.”
“Show her, little one,” said Jess and began to cackle.
Ilirium’s face turned a bright shade of red
“Don’t take any notice of what’s been said,” said Beryl. “Jess an’ me are jist playin’ wi’ yer head. Sit yersel’s down an’ rest yer feet, an’ ah’ll go and fetch ye somethin’ tae eat.”
Beryl brought them black bread, cabbage and eel
And with ferocious hunger they remained still through the meal
“Noo tell me Jess an’ little one,” said Beryl after they were done. “How can ah be of assistance tae procure them oan the run?”
“There be a monastery in the far northwest,” replied Jess. “There be another that can my spells contest.”
“That could prove tae be a taxin’ test, but tonight ah suggest we all get good rest. Tomorrow we will have another guest.” 

Tuesday, 8 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 52) by Grant Harbison


Tired, hungry and sore
Brother Blaine cursed as the rain started to pour
It wasn’t long till he was soaked right through
Causing despair to promptly ensue
But then suddenly a settlement came into view
Instantly his curiosity began to accrue
Its enormity was one that he’d never seen before
And immediately he wondered what danger could be in store 
Hunger pains caused him to frown
And he knew he had to make his way down
But his hopes began to subside
When he saw that the town was fortified
Entrance was through a large iron gate
Where he was met by a guard and instructed to wait
“Tae come through here ye have tae pay,” he said to Blaine. “What is yer reason for comin’ tae Glasgae?”
“Sir, I’m very hungry and extremely beat. I need a place to rest and somethin’ to eat.”
“Three an’ a half groats is the admission fee. So gie it tae me or ye better bloody flee.”
Blaine reluctantly gave him the cash
He saw no need to complain to someone so brash    
The guard opened the gate and let him in
And he was amazed to see the hustle and bustle within
Never before had he heard such a din
But he had no time to waste and went in search of an inn
He looked around and saw there were four
Opted for the first one and went through the door
Conversations stopped and the patrons stared
Tentatively he walked to the bar feeling very scared
“An’ what can ah dae for you?” asked the barman. “Somethin’ tae drink or somethin’ tae chew?”
“A pail o’ special brew and whatever ye recommend from your menu.”
“Boiled neep and rodent stew.”
Hunger insisted and he couldn’t eschew. “Aye, that’ll do.”

Sunday, 6 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 51) by Grant Harbison


Deplorium was first out of the hole
Caked with earth like a burrowing mole
Borium followed suit
While Truman remained and passed on the loot
“Back, safe and sound,” said Deplorium when they were all above ground. “Prosperity comes tae he who dares. Open the bag and let’s see oor wares.”
Borium opened the bags to let the contents unfold. “Jewellery, silver and gold.”
Deplorium rubbed his hands and began to twitch. “Stick wi’ me and ah’ll make ye rich.”
“A fair amount of treasure, that’s true,” said Truman. “But who in this wilderness do we sell it too?”
“Dae ye think that in a place this remote that there’d be naebody tae come and spend a groat? There’s many a traveller and many a boat.”
“I must admit, I am rather scared,” said Borium. “What if we’re accused by an angry laird? He seems to know a lot about you. Maybe he will suspect us Anglos too.”
“Dinnae worry, ah’ve got everythin’ planned. We’ll make a fire oan the strand. That’ll be the signal for the boats tae come, and it shouldnae take much negotiatin’ tae fetch a tidy sum.”
“Deplorium, I’m sure you are right,” said Truman. “But by the time we arrive it will be broad daylight.”
“Ah don’t mean noo, we’ll go tonight.”
“Deplorium!” cried Borium. “These pilfered goods we cannot keep!”
“Relax, wee cousin. We’ll dig a hole and bury them deep.”
“Borium, let’s just have faith in Deplorium,” said Truman. “I’m in dire need of sleep.”
“Aye, wee cousin, listen tae yer pal. Tae protect ye both from harm, ah certainly shall.”
“I only hope you are right, I’ll be wishing the hours away till it is night.” 

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 50) by Grant Harbison


The impending trek brought out much ardour in Erik
But first he had to say goodbye to Elise and Derek
He made his way to the Badger and Boar
Then walked up the stairs to the second floor
And sighed when he saw the queue outside their door
“Get to the back of the queue if you want to see the whore,” said the man at the front. “I’m going in next and there’s still another score.”
Erik’s response caused a huge furore
When the force of his punch sent the man to the floor
Erik knocked hard on the door
Inside the room Elise yelled for more
The door was opened by Derek
Who was somewhat surprised to see his brother Erik
“Erik, what on earth brings you here?”
 “Just came to say goodbye before I disappear.”
“In search of the monk, I presume,” said Derek as Elise’s cries of pleasure ceased in the room.
“Yes, I can’t get the little one out of my mind. Up north he has gone, but he shouldn’t be too hard to find.”
“Sound like Elise is done, Erik. Come inside.”
“Why do you allow this, brother? Have you no pride?”
“I know it’s hard to understand, but I really enjoy adhering to her demand.”
“Derek, what is Erik doing here?” asked Elise. “I thought that he was…”
“He’s here to say goodbye, my dear.”
“Yes, Elise,” said Erik. “Without Borium I cannot have peace.”
“Erik, junk that silly monk. Travel with us and I’ll find you a hunk. Give it thought at least, for soon we will be heading east for warmer climates and a carnal feast.”
“I’m afraid that life would not be to my taste. Now I must make haste for there is little time to waste.”
Erik hugged them both and wished them the best
And then hurriedly left the room to begin his quest

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Oh, brother (part 49) by Grant Harbison


Mistress Paine lay in her cell and heard a key in the door
The guard walked in with a bowl of gruel and threw it on the floor
“The floor be fitting for a whore,” he said and began to roar.
And continued to laugh as he locked the door
She crawled to the food and scooped it from the ground
Voraciously scoffed it like a famished hound
The measly portion failed to satisfy
And she lay on the floor and began to cry
“Oh, Blaine. How long still before I see you again? I cannot bear being locked in this cell. My life has become a living hell.”
She heard the jangle of keys and stared in alarm
Fearing he’d returned to do her harm
She grabbed her blanket and nervously gnawed
With mounting terror of being beaten and pawed
She stared in disbelief when she saw Maude the bawd
And a tall dark stranger she introduced as Claude
“It’s Claude you should applaud,” said Maude. “Never shall you have to worry again, for thanks to Claude the guard has been slain. Now you are free to look for Blaine.”  
“Madam Maude and Claude, I don’t know what to say. Such kindness I can never repay.”
“Rejoice in your emancipation,” said Maude. “You would have done the same for me without hesitation.”
“Maude, we must be on our way,” said Claude. “Very soon night will become day.”
“Oh, Maude. If only I knew where to look for Blaine,” said Mistress Paine as they started to leave.”
“On his way north, I believe.”
“You know this for sure?”
“Straight from the mouth of the hag in the wood and certainly not obscure.” 

Saturday, 28 November 2015

Oh, brother (part 48) by Grant Harbison


Shear de Lite woke up screaming with fright
Fear marked the face of the hermaphrodite
“My dear de Lite, what is your plight?” asked Lord Dirgand. “You’ve been terribly restless most of the night.”
“Danger lurks for Gypsy Jess from a master of spells in the northern wilderness.”
“Who is Gypsy Jess and why would that cause you such distress?”
“The one you conversed with on that day you took me away. I must leave in the morn without delay. I need to stop harm coming her way.”
“I don’t understand,” said Lord Dirgand. “It’s been ages since you have seen her and her band. You say she is in danger, but how would you know? You’re not making sense and I forbid you to go.”
“My lord, I’m afraid I don’t have a choice. It would be very unwise to ignore the voice.” 
“Then I’ll assemble some men and we shall seek out her foe.”
“But the voice demands that only I must go.”
Dirgand became very annoyed. “I will see to it that they are destroyed. I will go and you will remain here. That is an order, do I make myself clear?”
“Sire, you and your men no nothing of magic. If you proceed with this quest, the outcome will be tragic. I really do have to go on my own, but the voice has assured me that  I won’t be alone.”
Dirgand was impassive
But she knew he was riled
The worst thing she could say was that she was with child
Not just one
There were two on the way
The voice had relayed to her the previous day
To Dirgand she’d wanted to relate
But the voice had informed her that she had to wait
And now she knew why
She had to act soon or her friend may die

Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Oh, brother (part 47) by Grant Harbison


Ilirium was relieved that the gypsy’s spell didn’t backfire
But fear was not enough to diminish his ire
And his need for revenge was now burning desire
Jess sat wearily staring at her ball. “The powers don’t be answering my call.”
“We can’t just wait here and do nothing at all,” said Ilirium. “What do you think is making them stall?”
“I can’t be sure, but mayhaps there be something in the cure. Great wisdom be required to make something so pure.”
“Is there anything you might know of such an antidote?”
“Afraid not, little one. There be all kind of flora in a place so remote.”
“Then we must leave immediately for the land of the Scot. I will have justice, no matter what.”  
“You be doing that, then ye surely will die. The man who made the potion be far too sly.”
“Then I’ll die if I must. Revenge for my brother’s death is purely just.”
“Oh behave; even I know yer not that brave. My heart goes out to you for I know that ye grieve, but it really don’t help to be na├»ve. There may be a way to avoid such peril. Up north I know a Wiccan by the name of Beryl. To the land of the Scot we shall go to see if she has a way of defeating yer foe.”
“Jess, I sincerely thank you for all that you’ve tried to do. My love for you has grown and continues to accrue, so I’ll abandon my impulsiveness and put my trust in you.”
“My little one, you are so sweet. I be so very glad that we did meet. For the meantime ye must put away yer sorrows, for there might be promise in yer tomorrows. Turn yer thoughts to something else instead; mayhaps ye’d like to join me in the bed.”
“I can’t think of anything else that I’d rather do; lay back, sweet woman and let me make love to you.”
“Something I be long anticipating; now get undressed, don’t keep a girl waiting.”
“Before I do that there is something I must confess. I think I love you, Gypsy Jess.”
“I love you too, my little one. But ye must hurry up so that we can have fun.” 

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Oh, brother (part 46) by Grant Harbison


“Quiet as a mouse,” said Deplorium to Truman and Borium as they approached the manor house.
“What now, Deplorium?” asked Borium. “How do we get beyond the wall and into the ground?”
“Through a tunnel ah found.”
Truman frowned. “I don’t like the idea of going underground.”
“It’s the only way tae avoid the hound.”
“The hound?” queried Borium as his heart began to pound.
“Aye, big and black and furry wi’ enormous sharp teeth. The safest way tae go is underneath.”  
“How do we get through the tunnel without any light?” asked Truman. “The passage below will be darker than night.”
“It’s a breeze. We just move along oan oor hands and knees. Ah’ve done it a few times wi’ relative ease.”
“So small?” asked Borium. “I’m not sure I like the idea of having to crawl.”
“Och, it’s easy, ye’ll see. The two o’ you are half the size o’ me.”
“Where does the tunnel end?” asked Borium. “Tell us that before we descend.”
“Yes, and to what depth does it go?” asked Truman. “That’s what I’d like to know.”   
“What difference does it make if it’s shallow or deep? All ye have tae do is creep. We stop below the cellar floor and go up through the trap door. If ye have any more questions, ye better say. Because it’s gettin’ late and we cannae delay.”
“Nothing we say will make you sway,” said Borium. “We will go, just lead the way.”
“Okay,” said Deplorium and pointed to a tree. “It’s over there. Come wi’ me.”
“Where is the tunnel?” asked Truman as they approached the tree. “There’s nothing here as far as I can see.”
“This is it,” replied Deplorium when he removed some branches on the ground to reveal the pit.”
“If I die, please save my soul,” whispered Borium before he followed the others into the hole.

Sunday, 22 November 2015

Day of indulgence and others dismay by Grant Harbison


Oh, how we hate this day
Looking on in utter dismay
At the other children as they laugh and play
Rejoicing in the excitement of Christmas day
Girls and boys
Happily showing off their brand new toys
My siblings and I briefly stare at one another
Wishing we had a different father and mother
Yesterday morning was when we last ate
They drank day and night and will be sleeping late
We’re freezing and still we hesitate
For we know that both will be in a vicious mood
And we dare not complain that we want some food
We look once again at the other kids sharing sweets
So cruel that our parents are still between the sheets
We are dressed in rags and they couldn’t care less
Never thinking of our distress
Empty booze bottles on the floor and the house is a mess
But we’ll be the ones that they’ll blame for their shame
One of the other kids saw me and called me a name
“Scabby!”
My little heart hurts as I have a crush on Abby

Oh, brother (part 45) by Grant Harbison



Sister Agatha visited Mistress Paine in her cell. “Miss Paine, I trust all is well.”
“No, it certainly is not. Am I being left here to rot?”
“That depends on Brother Blaine, Mistress Paine.”
“This is insane. Am I being punished because of Blaine? All we did was have a bit of fun, but perhaps that word is unfamiliar to a nun. Maybe the exception is Elise Dunn. She’s certainly a lively one. I’ve heard that she likes many men in her bed. Methinks that she is the one who should be locked up instead.”  
“The wantonness of the former nun I do not doubt, but promiscuity is not what this is about.”
“Then pray tell. Why have you had me put in this cell?”
“To ensure Brother Blaine completes his task.”
“And what is that, may I ask?”
“To bring back two absconded monks for their crime. Until he does, you will be doing time. If he fails to return, then dear Mistress Paine, you will burn.”
“If the crime was committed by the other two, then why does Blaine have to do this for you?”
“Because his association makes him guilty too. Albeit indirect, he can still be tried for neglect. The only thing in his favour is that he didn’t defect.”
“Elected to defect I expect. If he trusts your committee then he is making a mistake. There is no certainty that he will avoid the stake.”
“In my detection, for you he has the fondest affection. He cannot escape his love for you and you can be certain that he’ll come to your rescue.”
“Is that a guarantee that both of us will be free?”
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”
“Then I appeal to your heart. Offer Blaine and I a brand new start.”
“When Blaine returns, I will request pity. But it will take a unanimous vote from the committee.”
“Thank you for being so kind. Your words shall give me piece of mind.”
“Now it’s time for me to leave. Keep the faith as it doesn’t help to grieve.” 

Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Oh, brother (part 44) by Grant Harbison


Blaine started out with no idea where he was heading
And likewise quite how far he would be treading
But in order to avoid execution
And to ultimately acquire absolution
The arduous traipse was the only solution
His major dilemma was which way to go
As searching in all directions would be tediously slow
North or south
East or west
He made a decision that north would be best
Even if he didn’t find Truman and Borium
At least he could visit his old friend Deplorium
The last time they’d met was on the Emerald Isle
When the Scottish monks had visited for a while
The annual games they’d come to play
And for the Scots it had been a triumphant day
As it was the very first time that they’d won away
Blaine had faced Deplorium in a wrestle of the arm
And the strength of the Scot had been cause for alarm
Blaine had been the champ and had a title to defend
But the plucky Scot had proved too good in the end
Festivities had ensued and had lasted the weekend
And Brother Blaine had made a brand new friend
On that final day before they’d sailed away
Blaine had made a promise that he’d visit him someday
Upwards and onwards he continued to go
Through icy wind and falling snow
The thought of not returning crossed his mind
But he didn’t have the heart to be so unkind
Sister Agatha had told him that if he dared to defy
Then Mistress Paine would slowly die
The nun had made sure he didn’t have a choice
All of a sudden he heard a voice
“Another monk,” he heard a man say. “A toll is required if you want to go this way.”
“Are ye sayin’ that others have passed?”
“Two little fellows looking extremely harassed.”
“Many thanks for lettin’ me know. Now In order to go forth, how much do I owe?”
“Give me three groats and then you can go.”

Sunday, 15 November 2015

The kick by Grant Harbison

I have to go and never go back
I have to love me and not allow it to lack
I’m going forward you see
For it’s high time that I thought about me
I’ve been far too long stuck in a rut
A slave to self-loathing with a mind that had shut
But now I don’t want to be that slave
Pushing myself to an early grave
When you learn from someone and learn self esteem
That nightmare can eventually turn to a dream
Knowing that person will always be there
Kicking me hard if I ever despair

Oh, brother (part 43) by Grant Harbison


“Ah hope yer well rested and ah hope yer both prepared,” said Deplorium to Truman and Borium. “Tonight we’re goin’ tae rob the laird.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” said Truman. “Do you mean Lord MacBlach, owner of the land?”
“Aye, the laird. What’s the matter? Are ye scared?”
“Deplorium, have you lost all common sense? asked Borium . “Are you aware of the punishment for such an offence?”
“Aye, ah’m aware. But in order tae prosper, ye have tae dare.”
“Cousin, the manor will be under guard. Or is that something you disregard?”
“Relax, ah’ve got it aw worked oot. There’s a certain time when there’s naebody aboot.”
“That doesn’t mean there is any less threat,” cried Truman. “If we go ahead with this, we will all regret.”
“Truman’s right,” said Borium. “There’s too much at stake. Death would be certain from one little mistake.”
“Ah can see that yer anxious, ah ken the feelin’. But if there’s one thing that ah’m good at, that is stealin.”
“I would say other things as well,” said Truman. “How exactly did you break that spell?”
“A wonderful wee plant ah got fae the dell.”
“I’ll never forget that pungent smell,” said Borium. “How did you know it would make us well?”
“It pays tae have some ken aboot spells and black magic. Up here it’s rife and some stories are tragic. Yours wis a minor gypsy curse. Fae some other source, it could have been worse.”
“I think I know from whence it came,” said Truman. “Ilirium and the gypsies are the most likely to blame.”
“Yes, it would appear so,” said Borium. “Deplorium, you’ll have to teach us all that you know.”
“Soon, on the very first night o’ the quarter moon. But for noo there’s an important job tae be done; and it has tae be done before the risin’ o’ the sun. Ah’ll explain tae ye everythin’ on the way. Aw ye have tae dae is listen tae what ah say.”  

Friday, 13 November 2015

Oh, brother (part 42) by Grant Harbison


It pleased Elise to have so many enjoy her
And it excited her so that Derek was a voyeur
And if truth be told
He found it most gratifying playing the role of cuckold
At first he was surprised by the strange sensation
The arousal of watching and hearing her elation
But soon he found that he couldn’t get enough
Especially when the sessions got a little rough
But by far the greatest satisfaction
Was knowing that he would get the last of the action
And by then it was not just a matter of lust
The carnal desire was an absolute must
But while it was joy for Derek
It hadn’t been the same for his brother Erik
Although many monks had shared his bed
He just couldn’t get Borium out of his head
And day after day he’d continued to brood
Until someone had told him about the hag in the wood
Who would be able to envisage Borium’s location
Using her magic for a small remuneration
So into the wood he’d hopefully gone
Early one morn at the break of dawn
Deep in the wood an orange light had glowed
Lighting the path to the woman’s abode
As he’d reached her door and had prepared to knock
The door had suddenly opened and he’d jumped back in shock
She was by far the ugliest woman he’d ever seen
With a face full of warts and hair an olive green
She was only four feet tall and had bright yellow teeth
And had donned a black robe with nothing underneath
“You be the Viking seeking the monk for his mate. Ye’ll have to find him soon before it’s too late. I’ll show ye the way, but first of all ye’ll have to pay.”
Erik had paid the required fee. “Now tell me, woman. Where is he?”
“Far north in the land of the Scot, in the heart of the Highlands there be a secluded spot. Go there and ye will see. On top of a hill be a monastery. That’s where he be.”    

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Message to all who view my blog




A big thank you to all who view. Views from far and wide; but special thanks to U.S.A and South Africa for your continued support. I promise to keep everyone entertained.

Decision from Heaven by Grant Harbison


Put yourself in her shoes
How would you choose?
When the one she loved only used
And even though he never abused
He wasn’t man enough to stay
Even with the knowledge of a child on the way
Left alone with a hasty decision
Fearing that people would vent their derision
If she chose to abort
Spouting vitriol of her and her sort
So put yourself in her shoes
No one to help and everything to lose
The sorrow of having to make that choice
Guilt conflicted with reality voice
Thinking that she’s committed a sin
That deep rooted indoctrination that stays within
You have done no wrong and never had a chance
But a soul remained in heaven for another to dance

Oh, brother (part 41) by Grant Harbison


The holiday was finally over for the brothers Conn
 Lepre, Ayre, Mod and John
And after a binge with Blaine till the light of dawn
They embraced him at the shore and then they were gone
As he watched them set sail in the drizzling rain
He felt the inevitable stab of pain
And wondered if or when he would see them again
He watched their boat until it drifted out to sea
Before he made his way back to the monastery
Suddenly the rain began to pour
And he hurriedly ran to the monastery door
The wind picked up and became very gusty
And in his rush for shelter he collided with Chrustie
The nun’s vociferous cry had a high pitched sound
As she lost her footing and fell to the ground
Blaine immediately sank to his knees
“My dear Sister Agatha, my sincere apologies!”
“Help me to my feet, you blithering fool. Grab a hold of my hands and pull.”
“Ye can count yersel’ lucky ye had a soft place to land,” said Blaine as soon as he helped her to stand.
Sister Agatha eyed him with disdain. “I’d say no more if I were you, Brother Blaine. Lest you want some serious pain.”
They intensity of her eyes shook him with surprise. “No, Sister Agatha. I do apologise.”
“Actually, it’s you I’ve come here to see.”
“Me?”
“The prank and the murder I took to our committee, but I’m afraid for your part, they were devoid of pity.”
Blaine fell to his knees and began to cry. “Please, Sister Agatha. I’m not ready to die!”
“There is another way, but you can’t delay. If you really want to survive; bring back the other two, dead or alive.”

Oh, brother (part 40) by Grant Harbison


May their bones be boiled and gorged by hounds from Hell!” Ilirium heard Gypsy Jess yell. “Somehow they’ve managed to break the spell.”
“But how can that be so?” cried Ilirium. “Breaking of spells is something they wouldn’t know.”
“Tis my assumption that the bearded one be the one with the gumption. I’m afraid the ball don’t give me much. It’s very blurry and cold to touch.”
Ilirium looked at her in dismay. “You mean to say that they’re not going to pay?”
“Little one, it all be very confusing. First I have to find out what they’ve been using. Someone must have a notion of brewing a potion. It has happened to me before in days of yore.”
“It matters not what happened then. You have to try again.”
“Little one, let ye be told. It pays not to be so bold; especially when the ball is still cold. Spells that are cast could return threefold.”
“So, all we can do is wait and pray that we don’t befall the very same fate?” 
“Like I said, three times worse. That be the power of the rebound curse.”
Ilirium became panic stricken
“Yes,” said Jess. “Thrice the size yer tongue will thicken.”
“But how can one be three times lame?”
“Yer legs, yer arms and pecker be doing the same.”
Ilirium’s stomach began to churn. “Please make the power of the ball return!”
“The ball works in mysterious ways. Sometimes the power goes away for days.”
“Please try to restore its power. We can’t wait for days, not even an hour!”
“My little one, yer face be awash with gloom. We cannot stop impending doom.”
Suddenly the ball began to brighten
And in hope Ilirium’s fear began to lighten
“Jess, is that a good sign?”
“Yes, my little one. It looks like we will be just fine.”